Becoming a mother and being on parental leave changed her entire mindset and approach to her career – and to life in general. Her hobby, sewing dolls, grew and just felt more and more fun, and both she and her husband Hamid gradually began to see it as a possible profession.
Today they have sold thousands of dolls, and seem to be getting along as a real team. The third child, Yasmine, is just starting preschool, and soon both Hamid and Fatma will be working with full focus on the company, Watoto arts. Fatma laughs when she says that the third parental leave has been something of a 'survival mode'.
"If we hadn't had the premises, that is, the sewing factory, a stone's throw from where we live, and the preschool and grandparents in the neighborhood, we probably wouldn't have been able to pull it off. I'm so grateful that we have it this way."
The impression you get of Fatma when you get to know her, and by following her and Hamid through @watoto_arts , is that they are a couple who, in the midst of their toddler years, seem to have made it work. That is, really work well – that they are happy, in sync and satisfied with life.
-It's inspiring and hopeful – three children, a startup and somehow so relaxed and content?
-Yes, but I have to admit that life is at its peak right now. All the hours, minutes, are filled and there is no room for anything more than what we are doing. The children and the business.
Fatma says that she and Hamid have been together for 20 years this year, and that the stable foundation they stand on means that they can both calmly view the toddler years as a phase with a shifted focus.
"The couple's relationship is on some kind of break. We never have time just for ourselves, going on dates or something, but I trust that that time will come back."
-Having the company as a joint project seems to work well for you?
-Yes, the advantages are that we are very in sync and understand each other's workload. We manage to share everything. The disadvantage is that, if we have a moment to spare, we talk about the company – evaluate and plan.
Fatma and Hamid had their first child in 2017, their second in 2019, and their third in 2022. It was during their second parental leave that the hobby grew, and with their third child in the womb, Watoto Arts became a real company. A sewing studio was set up and eventually a first seamstress was hired.
Parental leave and new perspectives
"It may sound so simple, but it has truly been a journey! Changing paths like this was not in my worldview a few years ago," says Fatma.
Fatma says that her career plans were in research, and that she clearly saw the steps she wanted to take. After a PhD in biochemistry, a postdoc in Germany in cancer research, there were many opportunities. She says that her original plan was to come back to work quite soon after having children, but something happened.
-Becoming a mother, and being on parental leave, changed my mindset. I postponed starting work several times, and I ended up being on parental leave for a whole year anyway. And once I returned to work, I was soon pregnant again.
Fatma believes that parental leave was her first real break from working life, and that it in itself gave her new perspectives.
“Other things became important, I reevaluated my life,” she says.
About the first time
For Fatma, the baby years and the challenges they bring seem to have been taken in stride. She describes trusting her instincts and doing things in a way that felt right to her rather than listening too much to outside advice and insights.
"I have wanted to have my children close, and have co-slept from the start and still do. They have been able to breastfeed constantly and I have carried them a lot. I have not been stressed by ideas about the child becoming independent and sleeping in their own bed and so on, and when people close to me have pointed out that I carry the children too much or breastfeed for too long, I have not cared that much."
-Do you remember anything that was particularly challenging in the beginning?
-Partly, I went overtime with my first child for 14 days, and was finally induced. The whole birth was very 'chemical' and it was as if my body never got going naturally. Even though it was very long, a healthy boy came out.
-At the beginning with my first child, my biggest challenge was getting started with breastfeeding. I wasn't prepared for the stasis of milk that I got, and I remember feeling confused about whether it would be like that.
-Did you have any help to turn to?
-Well, I've thought about it afterwards that it was a very abrupt goodbye there after the birth. It was quickly clarified that everything looked good and then they needed to clean the room so that the next birth could come in. So we had to go home and figure out how to do things ourselves. It went well but..
-Did you feel like you lacked support?
-No, I have very close family, and they were a good support even during those first days as a mother. But generally I think there is a lack of a caring culture in the first days after birth.
"Here in Sweden, there is so much talk about being in your own bubble after giving birth. You should wait with too many visits and social interactions, and just be yourself. For some, this may be the best thing, but I also think there is a risk that you may feel alone."
In Algeria, where Fatma has her roots, there is a so-called 40-day culture. It means that the new mother is served, cared for, and surrounded for the first 40 days after giving birth. Fatma thinks that more people should be able to learn about the different ways that can be done during this time.
"It can be difficult to be in your own bubble and ask for help or relief from those outside. You may not even know or see what you need, and when. Then it makes it easier to have people close to you who can see you, suggest solutions and anticipate needs. You are probably not made to go through and cope with everything yourself."
-How would you describe the baby years overall?
-Well, overall I've felt and had such a good time during my baby time. I've really felt like a superwoman after all my births. I've wanted to hang out with people and really felt boosted and uplifted by the whole experience of having a baby. Then I'm glad that I've been able to take it all in stride and not get stressed out that there might be other ways some people think things should be done.
Becoming a mother again
Fatma says she was still breastfeeding her first child, Navid, when her second child, Sami, was born. She felt no stress or anxiety about welcoming a new child, and once again she emphasizes how important the interaction with her husband was in this regard . “Hamid was on parental leave with the first for another 1.5 years after the second child arrived, so being able to share everything and do it all together has really been our thing.”
-Was anything particularly different with the second child?
-Yes, with Sami we had to experience real anxiety, because he had several respiratory arrests during his infancy. We had to go to the emergency room several times, and it was only when a respiratory arrest happened on site at the hospital that a doctor could see and put his finger on what could be wrong. It turned out that he had infantile epilepsy. Incredibly scary, but nice to know what it was and be able to get the right help with it later.
Otherwise, says Fatma, going from one to two children wasn't a huge adjustment for them. "We widened the bed so that everyone could fit in, like. But with the third child, everything suddenly became so crowded!"
Giving and receiving advice
-Have you received any unexpected or unwanted advice about your parenting?
-Lots! Haha, but I'm good at sorting things out. For example, some people think I carry the children too much and others think I breastfeed for too long.
-Do you have any general advice for new mothers?
-Everyday life is tough and that's okay. There are a lot of must-dos that can be eliminated.
-Anything you would like to tell yourself before becoming a mother?
-Well, a bit the same thing, like: 'Let go of certain things, now you're entering a new phase, and you can take up a lot later.'
About the children
-What trait do you hope your children inherit from you?
-Haha, I think I can already tell that they inherited that: Outgoing, social, and creative!
-Is there a stage in your children's lives that you long for?
-I try to appreciate and embrace the fact that they are little now, but of course I also long for them to become more independent. Not having three who need a 'hands on' all the time.
Finally, is there anything that bothers you about being a mother?
-Yes, that I can never do anything in peace, while my husband can go take a nap, go to the bathroom, talk on the phone, whatever – in peace! Never happened to me.
If you are curious about Fatma and Hamid's company and their beautiful dolls, check out their website and follow @watoto_arts on Instagram!
