Early days – with Filippa Lagerstedt

The idea for HumbleBummies came while at home with her first son Viggo, who is now 2 years old. Since then, she has worked hard to develop and launch the first bamboo diapers on the Swedish market. By the time her second son was born, she had the finished products ready to launch. We caught up with the impressive Filippa to talk about her experiences as a first-time mother.

Filippa brings her 6-week-old Sverre with her to all meetings and sales events. “So far he’s sleeping quite peacefully and for longer periods in the carrier so I can work. Ergonomically it gets more difficult every day he grows, but for now it works!”

It may seem that pregnancy, childbirth and recovery from these have not bothered her, given the company she has established in parallel. But Filippa is very open about how fragile she was, especially after the arrival of her first child.

“I think it’s really important to talk about the first period and how vulnerable you are as a newborn, and how stressful it can be. I had a pretty tough start, I understand now. The whole body and psyche feels so different when you are newly delivered, so it is incredibly difficult to know what is reasonable. What is within the scope of ‘normal complaints’? Plus, the baby is the number one focus, and you are secondary…“

About challenges and support in the early days

What was your biggest challenge in the early days?
-I had something called a hematoma during childbirth. It wasn’t noticeable at first, but I was sent home from the hospital with praise for how little blood I had lost. A hematoma is a kind of internal bruise, a collection of blood in the body, and I was diagnosed with one when I went to the hospital a few days later, feverish and drowsy.

What kind of care did you receive?
-“I had to be hospitalized, and I didn’t understand at all how that would happen because I had my son who needed food and everything. I was really bad, I understand now, and so happy that I got good support and advice here.

Who supported you?
-My family, but actually especially my grandfather here. He is a pediatrician and told me in such a clear and reassuring way that I should leave the baby with my husband and take the care I needed. He said: children are just as well off with formula and the important thing now is that you get well. This meant that I didn’t have to worry about feeling guilty. It was liberating and probably important for my recovery.

What happened when you got home?
-After the first delivery when I came home, I needed a lot of help from my husband and family around me. I was completely exhausted and didn’t really understand how to make life work as a mother. I was stressed, anxious, and finding it incredibly difficult to cope with the changes involved in becoming a mother. I found it hard to accept putting myself last in every room now that the baby was there.

If I had to do this time over again, I would probably not put myself last but prioritize myself to feel good. If mom feels good, baby feels good, I always try to follow that. Now the second time I came, it was incredible and I couldn’t wait to see my mischievous two-year-old and sleep at home in my own bed.

Have you had to process this experience?
-Well, I’ve just thought that this is how it is to give birth and become a mother. I gritted my teeth and thought that the pain of the hematoma was probably normal and that everyone has pain for several weeks after giving birth. Now for the second birth, however, I noticed that I had an incredible amount of respect for what I would be doing, and was actually a little scared. So, now I realize that I may have needed to work through my first birth, but at the same time – as soon as I got to the hospital the second time, and met the amazing midwives, the fears went away.

On becoming a mother for the second time

What were your thoughts on the second child? Did you have any strategy or attitude with you since the last time?
-You know how it can be, so you definitely have a larger frame of reference. I also knew how well bottle feeding works, so even though I would have better conditions for breastfeeding this second time, I had decided not to fight to make it work.

So what has it been like being a mother of two?
-It has been an incredible experience and I am happier than ever. It’s actually easier than I imagined and so much love. It is so nice to see your children together and be a big family. Of course, it is more stressful, less sleep, less time and requires more logistics and planning but it is also twice as much love and twice as much fun!

On expectations of motherhood

Did you have any fears about becoming a mother?
-Well, I don’t know if I had it before… But now I think it’s scary how much you love your children. Your whole life becomes scary because there is so much at stake. I was a little afraid now before the second child that I would not be able to give time to my first, but that was not the case, rather the opposite now on parental leave that we can have calmer mornings and pick up earlier from preschool.

Are there any myths about being a mother that you have discovered are not true for you?
-Myth and myth but I think I was thinking that all parents “give up” their previous life when they have children but I don’t feel that way. You have time for both and life has only become more fun and more important to take care of.

Have you received any unexpected or unwanted advice about your parenting?
-Maybe around sleep training that it is so important to teach your child to sleep alone in their own room, god how stressed I have been about it. Now in retrospect, I wonder why I can’t just sleep with my children as long as they want?

“If I could go back in time and give myself one piece of advice, it would be to take it easy, and trust yourself. You are the one who knows your child best of all.”

What do you do when you have a rare moment to yourself?
-I exercise, I need the endorphins to function. I go and do my nails or sleep, haha. Right now, I work a lot even when I have my own time because that’s when I have time to work.

And is there anything you would like to do when you have a moment to yourself?
-I would have liked to have a massage and go with friends to a SPA. I would also like to have a nice dinner with my husband in town with good drinks! But that will come soon when I stop breastfeeding.

Are you good at relieving or accepting help with the children?
I comment a lot on how something should be done when my husband is with the children and I control all situations. I find it difficult to relax when others are with my children besides my own mother.

About the children

What characteristic do you hope your children will inherit from you?
-I want them to inherit my mindset that anything is possible and the strength to not give up just because you don’t solve it right away. I also want them to inherit my curiosity about people.

Is there any stage of your children that you long for?
-I can’t wait to see my children playing and playing sports together. I’m looking forward to going on a skiing vacation together and sitting around a table and talking about the day.

About the relationship

How did your relationship with your partner change after you became a mother?
-He suddenly became indestructible and the most secure point in my life. We have everything that really matters in common and there is no one in the world who loves our young children as much as we do. We are a team and I cannot do without him.

Has your partner done anything memorable to support you in motherhood?
-That he works at home often, haha, so he can help and relieve me. Also, he always makes sure I have time to exercise and makes sure I sleep.

Thank you!
We at Unna are grateful that Filippa so openly wanted to share her experiences and thoughts about the first time as a mother! If you are interested in her brand and products, we recommend that you visit the HumbleBummies website or Instagram.